Where do I go from here?

I’m worried this post is gonna sound whiny.  I don’t feel whiny, just a wee bit lost.

Finding a food plan/diet/strategy has been one HUGE frustration.  My weight seems to hover right between 270 and 275. I lose 3 pounds, gain 4, lose 5, gain 2, lose 2, etc etc.  And it doesn’t seem to matter what I eat or how much.

Example: Over the weekend I ate responsibly, low carb & high protein. Gained 2 pounds. Last night I had a little ice cream, then lost 3 pounds.  It’s counterintuitive and maddening.  No consistency what-so-EVER.  And one of the hallmarks of life after gastric bypass seems to be major inconsistency, and it’s pissing me off.

Hell, I don’t mind following a food plan, I can handle rules and limitations.  Finding the right plan is the hard part — too much is obviously bad, but too little activates starvation mode, and blah blah blah.

I’m tired of thinking about nutrition all the damn time, tired of food and food issues and food planning and food “experts”.  I had gastric bypass to finally have a decent quality of life, maybe get out of the house, get a job, find a friend, write full-time, be free of pain.  But now with everything focused on food, not only do I not have a decent quality of life, I think my mental glitches have gotten worse.

My nutrition doctor says the surgery got me to this point, and I have to get myself down to my goal weight. Hey, cool, how do I do that?

He says just keep doing what I’ve been doing.

But it’s not working.

Just keep doing it and see me again in a month.

Brain … hurts …

I’d thought about programs like Weight Watchers or South Beach, but cost is an issue.  And I’d really be pissed to shell out that kind of money only to be in the same place: weight-stalled, frustrated, and broke!

So for now, I’m not restricting carbs anymore, not denying myself anything. As long as I get my vitamins and protein and stay active with my exerbike, I’m not going to count calories and obsess anymore.  I do worry that I’m heading back toward 400 pounds, but seriously, I don’t know what else to do.

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