Questioning my Sanity
July 30, 2011Approx. 10 days ago, watching what I was eating, counting protein and liquid intake: gained until I maxxed out at 280 again. Got scared, then got depressed, and basically gave up. Started eating *whatever* I wanted, whenever I wanted. Only thing I watched was the liquid intake, don’t wanna shrivel, ya know?
Today I weighed in at 263.
So yeah, I am questioning my sanity. Seriously. Eating *junk* and full fat and carbs, and I lost again. Ma brain, she be hurtin’.
My only plan now is to simply eat what appeals, stop when I get full, pay attention to liquids. Maybe record all food & exercise, just to find patterns. I still cannot accept that me eating without restraint will make me lose weight. It’s.just.not.rational.
Although I am reminded of something my surgeon said after the RNY: he gave me a “drastic bypass”. I had thought he meant a small pouch, but later realized no, he meant he bypassed a LOT of the intestine and my absorption level is really, really low. Makes me wonder exactly how much of what I eat really gets absorbed. Even at 1500 calories per day, am I still in starvation mode?!
It’s so irrational to me, but hard to argue with results. I dunno, just feel like there’s an answer here and I’m consistently missing it.
:\ *shrug*
